Grand-parenting

      Grand-parenting to me seems like it would be the best time of life. It's great because both the husband and wife can spend some quality time together again. They can also love their grandchildren and send them back to the parents when the children do something wrong. Some grandparents do struggle with boundaries though. They can take responsibilities away from the parents sometimes because they feel like it is a second chance for them. Grandparents have lot of pressure weighing on them. They kind of need to set the example for the family because they have been around the longest and should have a lot of wisdom. I love my grandparents. They are the sweetest people. They have been really good at letting my parents do the parenting, but they will give us little words of wisdom every once in awhile. I hope when I am a grandparent I don't cause stress within the family because I am trying to be my grandchild's second mom.

       In this blog post I also wanted to give a few ending notes because this semester is ending. I have really enjoyed this class. I am glad that I understand family systems more. I am a visual learner so it really helped when we talked about the different boundaries within a family and we were able to draw it on the board. Things become clearer when you are able to draw out what boundaries are being created between you and your spouse or if you are letting other people into your little circle when it should only be you and your spouse. I am glad I have had the opportunity to learn and grow from this class and now I can go and teach others what I have learned.

Divorce

     There are many reasons for divorce but what many people don't realize is that they probably could have saved their marriage. Some of the reason's for divorce include money, communication, lack of emotional support, boredom, incompatibility, fall out of love, constant conflict, and emotional and physical abuse. To me, some of these things don't seem like a good reason to get a divorce. Most of these if you get help the problem can be worked out. Sometimes we get in a rut and it feels like there is no way out and we make decisions that we may regret later. I think the exception is physical and emotional abuse. There is no reason at all why someone should be abused. If the abuser doesn't back off then I think the best thing to do would be to get out of the marriage. As for the problem of incompatibility, I think if the couple would have dated wisely ad carefully they would have found out if they were compatible or not. I am not married yet so when I date guys I want to date in a way that I really get to know the guy. This will include, discussing important matters before we get married, and go on dates where I will be able to see him react to different situations and circumstances. I will try to do this because I believe that it will strengthen are future marriage.

Parenting

     A polite request should always be given to your children before a firm request. Children are much more likely to listen to their parents if they first ask politely. If your children do not do the task that was asked to them, then sit down with them and explain how it makes you feel. Use "I" and not "you". It is important that parents don't sound like they are accusing the child because that can cause the child to become defensive. If the child still does not do what was asked, then use a firm request. This does not mean yelling to your child. Simply restate the task that needs to be accomplished in a firmer voice and leave it at that. Yelling at your child might get them to do the task or chore but it will be more detrimental to the child. My parents have definitely been a good example of this. They have never yelled or screamed at me and because of this I feel their respect for me and in return I can give them the respect that they deserve.